just wondering

I just got to thinking. I wonder what it would be like to have a guy ask me about my dreams. I mean really ask about my dreams and desires. ask about what i fear and what holds me back. ask about my walk with God. Like a man to really dig in my life and not me offering up here and theres while i give all the focus to him. I want a man to really get to know my mind. but im scared to let someone that far in. no matter how much i care i never fully reveal all of myself to a man. I just want someone to push past the walls. Im tired of having the great wall of china up. its tiring. i want to experience the growth of a christian walk with someone. I want to experience a new love. part of my healing process is knowing that i deserve better really knowing.